Aftermath
by mondler0922
Summary: What happens with Calzona a month after Arizona slept with Lauren. It has a happy ending for them (eventually). Fluff, Smut. Just my take on the relationship, let me know what you think.
1. Chapter 1

Dr. Callie Torres sat outside the front doors of Grey Sloan Memorial by herself in the cold Seattle air, coffee cup in hand, contemplating how her life had come so undone. Why was this happening to her? After all she had done for Arizona how could she go off and sleep with some random cranio-facialist surgeon who she had only known for a few days? What had she done to deserve that? For a year Callie held together what was left of her family as best as she could. She slept in her dead best friend's apartment by herself so that her wife could have the apartment to herself. She took care of Sofia for months by herself while Arizona moped in her bed. She took the blame for the leg, took all of Arizona's resentment, and she was patient, and she was understanding. But this, she couldn't understand this.

"Hey."

Callie looked up from her distant staring and saw her wife standing in front of her.

"What?" the brunette relied with a bitter tone.

"Bailey just told me that she's going to be an hour longer in OR2. Do you want to find another OR or is it okay that I push Jonathan's surgery back an hour?" Arizona asked quietly. She felt powerless in front of Callie, like a dog with its tail between its legs.

"Yeah, whatever that's fine. See you in surgery," Callie stood up to go inside but Arizona stopped her by the arm as Callie started to walk away.

"Callie –"

"What," Callie replied flatly, turning to face her she stared coldly into her estranged wife's eyes.

"I just… I just want to—um.."

"Do you actually have something to say or are you going to ramble moronically? I have to go change and prep for surgery," she snapped.

Arizona shook her head timidly, "No, no I'll see you inside."

As Callie walked away, Arizona did her best to hold back the tears by telling herself, 'Don't Arizona. Don't cry, it's only fair that Callie gets to act this way after what you've done. So don't Arizona, don't.'

But the tears came anyway because everything hurt. Her leg hurt, her heart hurt, but mostly her soul hurt. Her very being felt broken and the one person who could lessen the hurt was walking away from her.

Callie heard the uneven breathing and sniffling behind her and knew those sounds, it was Arizona's crying. Her feet stumbled a bit because her body wanted nothing more than to run back and hold and console the blonde but her mind argued itself and made her continue walking, walking away from the short gasps of sadness that was coming from behind her. Callie was fully aware about the cruelty she displayed against her wife and knew even better how much it hurt her but Callie couldn't help herself. She was angry. Not angry because all the love she had given Arizona in her time of need went unreciprocated, but because it went unacknowledged. For a year she made sacrifices for the woman she loved and didn't mind making them, but the fact that Arizona didn't even care that Callie had done so much for her and even went off and slept with another woman… that was what angered Callie. But when Callie reached the warm air inside of the hospital, her body won the war against her mind and the surgeon turned around to take a look at her wife who was now sitting on the same bench she was just at, bent over with her elbows on her knees and face in her hands. But her mind quickly regained control of the battle, instead of going out there to console the blonde Callie turned around and walked straight to the attending's lounge.


	2. Chapter 2

Callie pulled her navy blue scrub top over her head and bent down to collect the purple blouse she was wearing before off the bench. Loosely folding it she placed it inside her locker when the silver heart necklace hanging from a hook caught her eye. Dr. Torres carefully lifted it from its place and held it in the fingers of her right hand. She can still remember the evening when she and Arizona got them, it was right before Grandinetti's roof collapsed causing absolute chaos in the ER. But the Valentine's Day chaos four years ago wasn't so chaotic to her because every time she moved she could feel the silver heart dangling from her neck bouncing off her chest and it reminded her of Arizona's super magic smile and suddenly things didn't seem so hectic around her. But now, holding the silver heart in her hand she felt a plethora of emotions. She felt mostly anger towards the woman who gave her the necklace, but she also felt joy, sadness, concern, happiness, and love. Yes, love. She still loved Arizona there was no doubt about that. But she didn't want to. She didn't want to love someone who had hurt her so badly. She didn't want to lust after someone who had disgraced the sanctity of their marriage. She didn't want to want to console Arizona anymore but she still felt all those things. Not knowing what to do with her conflicting emotions she returned the necklace to its hook in her locker and walked away.

* * *

"Can I get Jonathan Calloway's chart?" Arizona said to one of the nurses on the surgical pediatric floor. She leaned on the nurse's station counter, wiping underneath her eyes and hoping that nobody would be able to tell she had just been crying. But as she looked down the hall she saw Calliope standing there looking at her the way she used to look at her. Her gaze was softer than the one Arizona had received from her outside a few minutes ago. It was kinder with a hint of love in it. That stare brought back all the feeling of happiness Arizona used to feel whenever Callie looked at her like that but this time instead of making her smile it made her want to cry again. Right as the nurse handed Arizona the patients chart, Alex Karev walked up.

"Hey you okay?" he asked, noticing the pain in his mentor's eyes.

"Not really," she whispered, turning her back at Callie and facing Karev.

He looked up and saw Dr. Torres and understood, "Here," he said extending his hand, "I'll prep Jonathan, you take some time before surgery and get your chick shit together."

"Alright," she replied with weak smile, grateful to have not only an amazing student but good friend.

Callie watched her wife standing at the nurse's station. Even sad, Arizona was stunning. Simply leaning on a counter she was breath taking. It had been a month since the infidelity incident and the initial rage Callie felt had worn away. Callie was still angry, but the anger had subsided from point blank outrage to a consistent disappointment. But right now Callie wanted that rage to come back because at least when she had that rage inside her she wasn't looking at her wife longingly the way she was at that exact moment. At least when she was filled with resentment she didn't think about holding Arizona in her arms, she didn't think about kissing her soft pink lips, she didn't think about how perfectly Arizona's body fit hers.

Arizona stood there a while watching Alex talk to Jonathan and his parents. 'He's going to do amazing things' she thought to herself before turning towards Callie who was still standing at the end of the hallway.

* * *

Callie found her heart racing as the blonde started walking toward her. A weird mixture of lust and angst was rising within Callie and she was at a loss about what to do.

"Karev's going to prep the patient," Arizona said to Callie as she walked past her.

"Uh, where are you going?" Callie asked, immediately regretting it because she didn't want her wife to think she cared. The cold shoulder method had been working well for her up until now.

"Oh," Arizona stopped. Caught off guard by her wife's interest she turned around to face Callie, "I'm just going to um, find an on-call room. Squeeze in a nap or something…"

The blonde's voice trailed off slowly because the wide eye look Callie was wearing on her face was confusing her. The two stared at each other in silence. Callie at a loss for words, battling her conflicting emotions and Arizona hoping for a reply because she missed her wife didn't want the conversation to end.

Finally Callie spoke, "Okay, whatever," she said indignantly. The anger inside her had won.

Arizona let out a sigh, turned around and continued on her way to the on-call room. But to Callie's surprise she found herself following the blonde. Turning the handle of the door Arizona let out a small gasp as she felt a body behind her pushing her into the dark room.


	3. Chapter 3

Callie didn't know what had overtaken her. She just had to have her wife. Using her body she pushed Arizona into the dark on-call room, spun her around and pushed her up against the door and locked it. Callie wasted no time in kissing Arizona. It was hard at first and full of passion because Callie hadn't tasted her wife's lips in almost a month. But after a few seconds the kisses slowed to a softer pace where each connection lingered a little longer, where the kisses were nice and slow with a gentle touch.

Arizona was lost in Callie's kiss, she had missed this so much but she quickly pulled away, "Callie, what—,"

Callie cut her off, "shut up."

Looking deep into her wife's chocolate eyes obliged, nodding her head softly up and down.

Callie took a step back from Arizona to see her in all he beauty lit only by the slight moonlight coming in from the windows. Not breaking eye contact, Callie first removed her scrub top, kicked off her shoes, undid the knot on her pants and then removed them. She took a step forward and gently grabbed the hem of Arizona's shirt and brought it up to remove her wife's shirt. Callie then brought her hands down to Arizona's waste and hooked her thumbs in the waistband of her wife's pants. Still looking into each other eyes, Callie slowly pulled down and dropped Arizona's pants on to the floor where they pooled around her ankles.

"Callie what are you—,"

"Shh," Callie quickly cut her off.

Callie got down on one knee and wrapped her hand around Arizona's right leg. Upon feeling Callie's hand on her ankle Arizona lifted her leg allowing Callie to remove her shoe and pants from that side. Callie in then moved onto her wife's prosthetic, lifting it herself this time without Arizona's help. Once again removing the shoe first and then the pants. Callie then slowly slid her hand up the prosthetic until she was at the connection point between skin and plastic.

Arizona cringed, she was nervous when it came to the leg and usually liked dealing with it herself. But at this moment she was too scared to say anything having already been told to be quiet twice so she allowed her wife to remove it. Callie carefully undid the straps and pulled on the leg, gently placing it on the floor to her right.

Still kneeling Callie was eye level with the stump. She place her right hand on it and leaned in, slowly kissing her way up the leg toward her wife's sex. Callie could feel Arizona's skin getting hotter after each kiss, after each inch. When she reached the cotton fabric covering her lover's core, she hooked a finger on the fabric and pulled straight down letting the underwear drop to floor. Arizona let out a small gasp as she felt the cold air on her burning core.

With her right hand still on Arizona's stump, Callie lifted her left hand to her wife's hip and then proceeded to place her lips on Arizona's dripping core.

"Oh god...," Arizona let out another moan.

Callie ran her tongue up and down Arizona's core, savoring the taste she had missed so much. The blonde's moans of pleasure were almost egging Callie on. She plunged her hole into the blonde's opening resulting in a shriek from Arizona.

Arizona completely confused about why this was happening but it felt so good she didn't want it to stop. With Callie's tongue pulsing in and out of her she was writhing with pleasure. She drove her hips forward and arched her back, driving her core deeper into Callie's face. Callie opened her mouth wider to invite Arizona's clit into the mix, pulling out her tongue to suck on the throbbing clit. Without warning Callie moved her right hand from the stump and drove two fingers into Arizona's core causing another cry of pleasure from the blonde. The sensuous cry from Arizona was just enough to drive Callie into a sexed frenzy. The brunette started pumping her fingers harder and harder, sucking furiously on Arizona's pulsing clit.

The immense pleasure on her core was causing Arizona's breathing to become erratic. She was gasping for air in between spurts of pleasure, running her fingers through Callie's hair so she could have something to hold on to. Arizona was close to coming, Callie could tell by the pull on her hair. She added one more finger to the pumping and that sent Arizona off the edge.

Callie lifted her head but kept her fingers inside Arizona, slowly moving them in and out bringing her wife down from her orgasm. She placed her forehead right above Arizona's core, inhaling her sweet smell before she pulled out her fingers and stood up.

Arizona's mouth was open, the wind knocked out of her she was trying to catch her breath when she opened her eyes to Callie placing three very wet fingers into her mouth. She sucked her own juices off the brunette's fingers as they looked each other in the eye. Callie took a step toward Arizona, pulling out her fingers from her mouth, pushed her body onto the blonde's and kissed her. The skin on skin contact of their abdomens was like fire. It was too much for Arizona and she had to taste Callie. Pinned between her wife and the wall, Arizona broke off the kiss and began sliding down. But before she could even reach Callie's breasts, Callie stopped the blonde from descending any further. She lifted Arizona by her arm back up, placed another kiss on her mouth, this time ramming her tongue into her mouth before she turned the smaller woman around so that she was facing the wall.

Arizona let out a small gasp at the sudden force from Callie. She craned her neck to the right making room for the neck kisses Callie was placing her. Kissing Arizona's neck Callie pushed her wet sex onto the small of Arizona's back. Wrapping her arms around the blonde, Callie grabbed Arizona's breast and slid her right hand down the blonde's abdomen and into her sex once again resulting in another gasp from the blonde.

"Oh god Callie."

Callie drove her two fingers deeper.

"Callie!"

Callie started pumping harder and faster.

"Oh god!"

Callie removed her left hand from Arizona's breast and started rubbing circles over the pulsating clit.

"Oh Callie!"

Arizona's shrieks of pleasure was causing Callie's wet sex to now drip onto Arizona's back.

"I'm close, I'm close!"

Callie leaned into Arizona pushing her face into the wall.

"Oh I'm almost there Callie!"

Arizona reached a hand back and grabbed a handful of the brunette's hair.

"Calliope!"

Callie remained pressed against Arizona, feeling her wife's body twitch with pleasure underneath her. Pulling her fingers out of her wife and said softly, "see you in surgery".

Callie put on her clothes and walked out of the room. Leaving Arizona confused and alone.


	4. Chapter 4

"Dude are you and Torres back together or something?" Alex asked Arizona as they stood over the open stomach cavity of their patient.

"Karev I hardly think this is the time to discuss _my_ personal life," she answered.

"Come on! Why are you being shy all of a sudden, we've discussed worse things in surgery," he continued egging her on.

Karev was right and Arizona knew it, but the reason she avoided the question was because she didn't know the answer herself. It had been almost two weeks since Callie charged her into the on-call room and screwed her so hard she lost sense of time. And after that initial incident they've been intimate together another dozen times but Callie was still so callous and cold to her around the hospital.

Arizona let out a sigh, "I'm not discussing my marriage with you."

"I've caught you two walking out of an on-call room sweaty and disoriented like ten times now. You're so back together."

'Crap' Arizona thought to herself. If Karev picked up on them who else had?

"Alright truth is I have no idea. We're sleeping together but she won't talk to me unless it's during sex and we're still living apart. Do you know what to make of this?"

"Huh," Karev looked up from the liver that was occupying his attention and looked at Arizona, "I think your wife is whoring you out."

"She's what?"

"Whoring you out. Using you for sex. Hittin' it and quittin' it. Fucking it and chucking it. Repeatedly."

Arizona scoffed, "shut up, it's not like that."

"Well what is it like then?" Alex asked.

Arizona didn't know the answer yet again, "it's…," she looked up thinking about how to answer, "It's a work in progress Karev. I'm going to get my wife back but it's definitely a work in progress."

"I hope you know that being a hump pad for your wife isn't going to get her back right? You have to actually talk."

Arizona kept quiet because she knew he was right. But she was too afraid to talk to Callie about anything other than sex or surgery, scared it would ruin whatever you call what she currently had with Callie.

* * *

"So are you and Robbins back together?"

Callie scoffed, looking up across the lab table at Derek she replied, "No, why?"

"I saw you two walking out of the 4th floor on-call room this morning… and the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that.." Derek replied nonchalantly never looking up from the cadaver brain in front of him.

"I just, it's just—," Callie stammered, surprised that Derek Shepherd the least gossiping person at this hospital was aware of her affair with her wife, "I just miss her that's all."

"Hmm. Well if you want to make it work you realize that dirty on-call room sex isn't going to fix anything right?"

Callie let out a sigh and looked down at the silver band on her ring finger, "Yeah no I get that. I'm just not sure right now whether I even want to make it work."


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a long day for Callie. She had three back to back surgeries and now she was in the skills lab finishing up some research for her and Derek's brain mapping trial. Dr. Torres looked up at the clock above the door and felt a wave of relief fall over her, her 16 hour shift was over. She packed up her research papers and notes and started walking toward the attending's lounge to change when she changed her mind. Leaving the skills lab Callie took a left instead of a right, straight toward the pediatric ward.

First she did a casual walk by, scanning the open hallways for Dr. Robbins, but no luck. Maybe she's in a patient's room she thought to herself, so the brunette entered the ward and began to scope the hallways doing her best not to make it obvious that she was looking for Arizona. But after circling the floor three times with no luck of finding Arizona, Callie gave up and asked Alex Karev.

"Karev!" Callie called out to him.

Alex looked up from the chart he was updating, "Hey."

"You haven't seen Arizona around have you?" she asked, putting her hands in the pockets of her white coat doing her best to play it cool, "I need her for a consult."

"A consult?" Alex asked. A playful smile appeared on his face because he knew damn well Callie wasn't looking for a consult.

"Yeah…," Callie replied shyly.

"Any kid that comes through these hospital doors come straight to us and 90% of your cases are hip replacements on old geezers. So unless you have a child who for some reason wasn't admitted to peds, what could you possibly need Robbins to consult on?"

Callie was caught and she knew it, "Okay," she said letting out a breath of air in defeat, "I don't need her for a consult, but can you please tell me where she is?"

Alex smiled knowing he had won that little battle, "She in radiology with a patient. But Torres wait," he reached out to stop Callie who was already starting to walk away, "Dude you realize she's still your wife right?"

"I know that," she replied furrowing her eyebrows, "What are you getting at?"

"All I'm saying is that she's still your wife. So stop sneaking her around like she's some dirty mistress you have on the side that you're only using for sex."

Callie jerked her arm back from Alex obviously insulted, "Mind your own damn business Karev," she snapped and walked away.


	6. Chapter 6

"Yep, just as I thought," Arizona said to the now second year resident, "Murphy did you get a good look?"

"What am I supposed to be looking at?" Leah asked as she scanned the x-ray.

"How you passed your intern exam I'll never know," Robbins said under her breath, "Look here, notice anything?"

"The appendix is…inflamed?"

"Question or statement Murphy?" Arizona snapped.

"Statement," Leah replied unconvincingly.

Arizona opened her mouth to say something but her pager went off. She looked down and saw that it was Callie. The blonde ran her hand through her hair and let out a sigh, she was in no mood to deal with any of this.

"Murphy take the patient back to peds, prep her for an appendectomy and have Alex scrub in. I have to go."

The resident's eyes grew big, "I get a solo?"

Arizona squinted at the doe eyed girl in disbelief, "Absolutely not! You will assist Dr. Karev and whatever you get to do is up to him."

"Right, okay…" Leah said as she left the room to retrieve the patient.

Arizona stood alone for a few seconds, took a deep breath, and then opened the door of the viewing room to go meet Callie. She knew at once when she saw her page what Callie wanted: on-call room sex. And it wasn't that the blonde didn't enjoy the sex cause she did, it was the after part she didn't enjoy. She didn't enjoy how after they finished, Callie would get dressed and leave without a word and without any eye contact. She didn't enjoy how whenever they were done Callie tossed Arizona aside like a piece trash and didn't want anything to do with her… until the next time she wanted her fix at least. Arizona was fully aware that her wife was only using her for sex but she let Callie use her because that was the only time she got to be with Callie.

Standing now in front of the third floor on-call room, Arizona had to take another deep breath. Bracing herself for what was coming.


	7. Chapter 7

Callie sat on the dingy cot the hospital claimed was a bed, waiting anxiously for Arizona to come in to the on-call room. Her hands sat atop her bouncing knees while she glanced at the clock for the sixth time in the last 3 minutes, wondering where in the world Arizona was.

After what seemed like an eternity, Callie heard the click of the door handle turning and she jumped up almost attacking Arizona. Dr. Torres grabbed her wife by the waste and pulled her into the dim room. Passionately kissing Arizona, Callie used one hand to shut the door and lock it.

"What took you so long?" Callie asked out of breath, stripping Arizona of her scrub top.

"Sorry," Arizona replied, replicating Callie's actions and pulling off her scrub top.

With their shirts off, Callie wrapped her arms around the blonde, kissing her neck and unwrapping her bra as she moved her to the bed. In one swift motion Callie lowered Arizona onto the bed and pulled off her bra. Still standing Callie quickly took off all her clothes and Arizona did the same from the bed, chucking her clothes across the room in a hurry because Callie was coming down on top of her.

As Callie pressed her naked onto Arizona's, the blonde let out a moan of pleasure. Locking lips once again, Arizona ran her tongue along Callie's lips asking for entrance. As soon as the brunette separated her lips, granting access to the blonde, Arizona rammed her tongue into Callie mouth, exploring every inch of it.

Arizona placed her hands underneath Callie's ass, slowly sliding up, letting her hands enjoy the ride of the Latina's curves. Arizona's thigh slipped in between the legs of woman on top of her and she felt the soaked core waiting there. Callie was too wet and Arizona just had to have her right now. She flipped the two of them, Arizona was now on top and she began to take control. Arizona began kissing a trail down Callie's body. She moved from Callie's lips, to her jaw, slowly kiss by kiss down the neck to Callie's collar bone. Now Arizona was right in the middle of Callie's chest, she took her hands and slid them up Callie's sides and wrapped them around her breasts. Massaging and squeezing the brunette's luscious breasts in her hand while her lips ravished Callie's chest.

"Oh god," Callie let out a moan, she had had enough teasing, her core was throbbing and she needed to come now. "Enough Arizona," she pleaded.

Arizona knew exactly what Callie wanted and didn't hesitate to give it to her. She took her right hand off of Callie's breast and drove two fingers right into her partner's sex. At the touch of Arizona's hands, Callie's body involuntarily twitched with pleasure. Arizona slid her body down, lifting one of Callie's legs onto her shoulder so that her hands could go deeper. As the started pumping her fingers faster her lover's core got wetter and wetter until Arizona couldn't resist anymore and had to taste it. She bent her head down and licked up her wife's juices before taking Callie's clit in her mouth.

Callie released a shriek of immense pleasure when Arizona went down on her, "Arizona!"

Callie's hands which were at her sides now found themselves wrapped in Arizona's hair between her legs. Even though estranged from her wife for nearly two months now it was as though nothing had changed in the bedroom. With Arizona working furiously on her sex she was close to coming and her hands tightened their grip on Arizona.

That was Arizona's cue. She knew by the touch of her Callie's grip exactly how she was feeling and the grip Callie had on her now meant she was close. Arizona picked up the pace, pumping her fingers harder and faster until…

"ARIZONA!" Callie screamed, her toes curling, back arching, body shaking.

Arizona kept her fingers in Callie, sliding them in and out slowly bringing her wife down from her high. When Callie's breathing began to normalize Arizona pulled out and placed soft kisses up her partner's stomach, to her chest, neck, and then lips.

"Give me a moment to return the favor," Callie said breaking the silence. Her eyes were closed as she laid there in complete relaxation.

"No, it's fine." Arizona sat up and picked up her bra from off the floor and put it on, squinting her eyes as she searched for the rest of her clothes in the dark room.

"Huh?" Arizona's lack of interest prompted Callie to open her eyes, "What? Why?"

Arizona scoffed. 'Why?' she thought, 'Because what's waiting for me at the end of my turn is you leaving me and me feeling broken again. Because I want to leave you before you get the chance to leave me. Because it hurts too much to lie there and be your sex doll when all I want is to be your wife again.' But instead she simply replied, "No reason I'm just tired."

But before she could get up to retrieve her clothes, Arizona felt a pull on her wrist. Looking down it was Callie's hand.

"Then stay for a bit, lay down," Callie offered.

Arizona's mouth dropped slightly, she was caught off guard by Callie's words. Her mouth hung open for a second or two while she searched for the word she wanted to say, "O-Okay."

She laid back down next to Callie who wrapped her arms around Arizona. Callie placed one soft kiss on the top of Arizona' shoulder and two more along the base of her neck before resting her head, buried in Arizona's hair. She missed this. She missed how perfectly their bodies fit together, how the lines of Arizona's body lined up so rightly against hers. She missed this. So much.

After a few minutes their breathing matched up. When Arizona took a breath, Callie took a breath, their chests moving in perfect unison. Arizona never wanted this to end. She wanted this for not just right now but for the rest of her life. She had to say something, "Callie?"


	8. Chapter 8

Callie lied beside Arizona in the small on-call bed, her arms wrapped around the blonde, one hand rested on Arizona's stomach, the other one underneath Arizona on the bed. Callie's chest pressed against her partners back, their legs bent perfectly together, slightly entwined.

"Callie?" Arizona called out in the moonlight room.

"Yeah?" Callie replied softly, almost in a whisper.

"I want to come home."

Silence ensued.

Arizona rolled over so that the two were now face to face, Callie's arms still wrapped around her, "Let me come home," Arizona repeated softly and sternly.

Callie looked into the blue eyes that were staring at her, then down to the pink lips below them and kissed them softly before speaking, "No."

Arizona's eyes crinkled in confusion, "N-No?"

"No. I'm sorry but no."

"Calliope," Arizona's voice was rising, "Callie, I get a say –,"

"No," Callie cut her off in the same voice she was using, soft and calm, "I'm sorry but no, because you're not you. You haven't been you. The woman lying in front of me, wrapped in my arms, is a shell of the woman I married."

Callie's voice started to break as she did her best to will back the tears, "I miss you Arizona, I miss you so _so_ much. And I know I've been selfish, using you like this. It was wrong of me and I apologize for any false hope I gave you but you can't come home. Not like this."

Tears were now streaming down Callie's face. Arizona raised her hand to wipe away the tears when Callie reached up and held her wife's hand, keeping it on her cheek.

"I want nothing more than for you to come home, believe me," she said between sobs, "because I miss you every day. But you can't come home because you're not you. And I won't let this stranger back into my life, back into my daughter's life, because I know this stranger is going to hurt us again. So please Arizona, give me my wife back because I miss her."

For a minute the two lay there together, the only sound in the room was the soft sobbing coming from Callie. Finally Arizona leaned in and kissed Callie once on the lips.

"I'm sorry Calliope," she said, pulling away and leaving the bed.


	9. Chapter 9

Callie hadn't seen Arizona in a week. She tried to catch her wife at daycare when it was time for Arizona to pick up their daughter for her shift but when Callie had gotten there they told her that Arizona picked Sofia up an hour early. Callie missed her wife, not just the sex, at least when Callie was mad at her, she got to see Arizona every day when Arizona would come up to her to try and apologize. But to go for 168 consecutive hours without getting to see the love of your life was pure torture. She rued the last time they spoke. She shouldn't have shut Arizona down so bluntly.

"Karev!" Callie shouted from down the hall.

Alex looked up from the computer monitor in front of him, "What, is it time for dirty mistress sex with your wife again?"

"Shut up. Have you seen her?"

"Yeah I've seen her," he replied bluntly, looking back at the computer again.

Callie stared at Karev waiting for him to say more, "Uh okay… Let me rephrase, where is Arizona?"

Karev wrote down some notes in the chart in his hand before closing it and looking at Dr. Torres, "Your _wife_," he made sure to emphasize the word, "is not working today."

Callie sighed, "Alright thanks."

She started to go back to her floor when Dr. Karev spoke up again, "Wait, what day is it?"

Callie turned around optimistically, "Thursday."

"Oh then she will be coming in actually. Monday and Thursday she has that thing with Wyatt."

"Dr. Wyatt at psych?"

Karev nodded, "I think so, unless there's another Wyatt at Grey Sloan," his pager started beeping, "Crap. See ya Torres."

"Wait! Do you know what time she goes?" Callie called out but Karev was already running off.

* * *

"Callie?" Arizona was surprised but mostly embarrassed to see her wife standing outside of Dr. Wyatt's door, "What are you doing here?"

"Um, waiting for you actually. Listen about the other day, I didn't mean to say 'no' so bluntly. I didn't mean to upset you, it's just that I meant 'no' for right now. I didn't mean 'no' for the future." Callie blurted.

Arizona took Callie's hand in her own, "I know," she spoke softly, "and you were right to say no. Because I have hurt you, and I'm not ready. You were right, and now, I'm going to make this right because I love you." Arizona pointed at the wooden door to her right, "So I'm going to in there and I'm going to get better for you and for Sofia and for our family."

Callie nodded her head as a huge smile made its way on to her face, "Okay," she said, "Then I'll be out here waiting for you."


	10. Chapter 10

"I feel good. I feel better. I think this is really helping," Dr. Arizona Robbins said optimistically. The once-peppy doctor absolutely hated going to therapy and was desperately trying to get a clean bill of health so she could say she was better. This was her third session and she already felt like it was three too many but still Arizona went. She went for Callie and for Sofia because losing them was not an option for her right now.

"Care to evaluate a little more?" the red-headed therapist saw right through Arizona's bullshit.

"I feel…," Arizona was searching for the right words to say, for the words she thought Dr. Wyatt wanted to hear, "I feel more adept at dealing with the loss of my leg and the crash. I feel good."

"How so?" Dr. Wyatt pried.

Arizona opened her mouth to say something but didn't know what to say.

Dr. Wyatt shifted in her seat, taking a breath before she spoke, "Okay why don't we try talking about the plane crash again."

Arizona looked down at her hands and rubbed her palms together nervously, "What's there to talk about? I came out with my life and one less limb." Arizona didn't like talking about the plane crash, mostly because she could barely remember it. All she could remember was a blur of coldness and screaming. There was a lot of screaming.

"Tell me what happened out there."

"Our plane crashed, there was a malfunction in the plane or something and we crashed. Lexie died, Mark died, and the rest of us survived."

"I want to know what happened from your point of view, I already know the facts. The whole hospital already knows the facts, so tell me the details Arizona."

Reluctantly Arizona spoke, "It was cold, really cold. And someone kept screaming…," her voice trailed off quietly.

"Who was screaming?"

"Me, I think," Arizona whispered almost inaudibly.

Dr. Wyatt observed the woman sitting on the couch across from her. Her patient's eyes were distant, blank, void of emotion, "What else?"

"I don't know. I can't tell if I actually remembered these things on my own or I just know them because I heard Derek and them talk about it during the hearings."

"And the leg?"

Arizona looked down at her legs. With her pants on you couldn't tell she was wearing a prosthetic but Arizona wasn't fooled. She knew beneath those navy scrubs there was only one real leg.

"It was an open fracture of the femur and because we were stranded in the woods for 11 days I developed a life threatening infection. That's why an above knee amputation was necessary," she replied like a doctor presenting some patient's case.

Dr. Wyatt nodded her head and jotted something down in Arizona's file.

"What are you writing?" Arizona inquired.

"Your diagnosis Dr. Robbins," the therapist replied, not looking up from the file in her lap.

"Diagnosis?" Arizona asked again, this time sounding less curious and more insulted.

Picking up on her patient's change of tone Dr. Wyatt closed the file and looked at her, "Arizona based on our interactions in the last few sessions I'm very confident in diagnosing you with post-traumatic stress disorder."

Arizona crossed her legs, crossed her arms, tilted her head slightly to the side and crinkled her brow, "PTSD? You think I have PTSD?" she asked her therapist angrily.

Dr. Wyatt opened her mouth to answer but Arizona quickly cut her off, "Yes I was in a plane crash. Yes I almost died. Yes I lost my leg. But just because I'm an amputee does not mean I'm suffering from a mental disorder. Just because I have one less limb you can't label me with illness which insinuates that I am inept. It's been one year and I am walking, I am functioning, I am kicking ass at my job. So don't tell me I have PTSD when I'm fine."

"Dr. Robbins," Dr. Wyatt replied calmly, getting up to open the door, "our time is up. We can discuss this further on Thursday."

As Dr. Wyatt held the door of her office open for Arizona, she noticed a tall brunette woman outside leaning against the opposite wall.


	11. Chapter 11

"Hey!" Callie chirped as her wife emerged from Dr. Wyatt's office. But upon seeing the disgruntled look on Arizona's face Callie quickly retracted her smile.

"How did it go?" Callie asked with a nervous chuckle.

"Wyatt's a quack! I'm not going back to her anymore," Arizona snapped and started walking.

"You want to talk about it?" Torres offered kindly, jogging slightly to catch up to the blonde. She was trying to be more amicable toward Arizona. Callie thought it was only fair that she match the effort her wife was putting in to repair their marriage.

"She thinks I have PTSD," Arizona scoffed, "how absurd is that?"

"That's uh…absurd," Callie replied unconvincingly.

Arizona halted to a stop. She turned and looked at Callie, studying her face.

"Oh my god, you agree with her?" she asked Callie accusingly, like Callie was doing something wrong.

Callie hesitated before answering and that in itself was enough to answer Arizona's question.

"Arizona," Callie called out but it was no use, the pediatric surgeon was already walking away.

* * *

As Dr. Robbins neared the pediatric ward she heard rapid beeping and sprinted toward the sound.

"Karev talk to me," Arizona said loudly making sure to be heard over the frantic hustling in the room.

"Patient's bradycardic, abdomen's rigid," he pointed to the ultrasound monitor, "the stitches in her stomach blew, she's bleeding out."

"Alright," Arizona started unplugging the child from all the machines, "call up and get an OR now! We have to open her up."

The two doctors raced the patient down the hall one on each side of her bed, "Crap," Karev shouted, "Crap! What the hell happened, her surgery went perfectly this morning. Hold the elevator!"

Once inside they caught their breaths and put on their scrub caps, impatiently waiting for the elevator to reach the OR floor.

"You didn't do anything wrong Karev. Stitches," she tied up her blonde locks, "don't always hold. Sometimes they seem fine at first but then pressure builds and they blow. It's a complication you have to learn to expect with surgeries like this."

* * *

"Callie come home," Meredith Grey pleaded the orthopedic surgeon.

"Rough day?" Callie chuckled at the sight of Dr. Grey, her hair was disheveled and there was dry baby food crusted around her temple.

"Either come home to us or give me my husband back. He's been no help ever since you two started your brain mapping trial," Meredith sounded exhausted.

"I'm sorry Grey, I know it's tough but you'll get through it" Callie did her best to sound as convincing as possible because she didn't actually know what Meredith was going through. For the first few months Sofia was in the hospital with herd of doctors and nurses. And once her baby was allowed home Callie had the help of Arizona _and_ Mark.

Meredith turned and looked at Callie scornfully, "Shut up. You don't know what it's like."

Callie laughed pitifully at the exhausted woman next to her, "Ha, you know what, you're absolutely right. But still, good luck Grey!"

Callie got up to leave the room but stopped at the door, "Hey Meredith, Dr. Wyatt treated you for a while right? She any good?"

Meredith scoffed, "That lady was so annoying, but yeah, yeah she's good. She definitely knows what she's doing."

Callie sighed, "Yeah that's what I thought," she mumbled to herself.

* * *

With the patient's bleeding under control the initial chaos had died down. The sounds in Dr. Robbin's operating room were sounds every surgeon prayed for: quiet clattering of hard working surgical tools and the steady rhythmic beeping indicating a _stable_ patient.

"What the hell? I'm seeing some other fluid mixed in with the blood."

"Hmm," Arizona observed, "I believe that's bile."

"Bile? From where?" Karev asked.

"Hold on a sec," Arizona moved the instruments away from the patient's stomach checking the surrounding anatomy, "the pylorus. Look."

"Pyloric stenosis? In a girl her age? I thought it was only in infants."

"It's rare," Dr. Robbins began to explain, "But it happens. So this means we can't just re-stitch the stomach closed. Why?"

Arizona took this opportunity to quiz Alex.

"Suturing the stomach closed would only fix it temporarily," Alex began, "Unless the pylorus is addressed and fixed, excess fluid will just build up and tear any tie we throw on the stomach."

Arizona smiled underneath her mask and looked up at her prodigy, "Excellent Alex."

* * *

Callie stood by the nurse's station, watching her wife talk to the parents of her patient. Arizona had a warm smile on her face which meant that the surgery probably went well. After a few hugs, smiles, and head nods were exchanged between Dr. Robbins and the parents, Arizona turned to leave the room. She looked outside and saw Callie waiting there for her and her smile quickly disappeared.

"Hey," she greeted Dr. Torres indignantly.

"Successfully surgery?" Callie noticed the cold tone in Arizona's voice but brushed it off.

"Pyloric stenosis in a 12 year old. Not something you see every day. It was pushing fluids into her stomach and tearing her sutures," Arizona replied without eye contact, opting instead to look down at the chart in her hand.

"Arizona?"

"Hmm?" Arizona still didn't look up.

"Arizona," Callie pleaded.

Dr. Robbins let out a frustrated sigh before looking up, "Yes Calliope?"

"You have to keep going to Dr. Wyatt. Like it or not you need help, and whatever you're doing, however you're coping on your own, it's only a temporary fix," Callie reached out and put her hand on Arizona's arm, "You're suturing the stomach when the pylorus is the problem. So please put your pride away and accept that you need help. Please."

Arizona looked Callie dead in the eyes and saw the sadness in them.

"Okay," she replied softly.


	12. Chapter 12

Arizona sheepishly knocked on Dr. Wyatt's door before entering, embarrassed at the way she snapped at her therapist the last time she was there.

"Dr. Robbins," Wyatt looked surprised, "Have a seat."

"Did you not expect me?" Arizona questioned the older woman's look as she made her way across the room to the couch.

"No I didn't. I expected you to come back eventually, but not today," Dr. Wyatt replied.

"I wasn't planning on coming back," Arizona admitted.

"You're weren't."

"I wasn't."

The two women stared at each other. Wyatt studying Arizona and Arizona waiting for Wyatt to speak.

Finally the red-head spoke, breaking the silence, "What made you come here today?"

Arizona took a deep breath as she thought of how Callie pleaded her to continue with this three days ago, but she lied and said, "I don't know."

"Okay, well you're here now. So let's pick up where we last left off," Wyatt noticed Arizona rolling her eyes, "your PTSD."

Arizona scoffed.

"Last Monday, when I diagnosed you, you lashed out at me. You reacted irrationally and you're still acting irrationally. You have unresolved feelings, most of them anger, but not all of it."

Arizona furrowed her brows and glared at Dr. Wyatt, she didn't like what she was hearing and began to feel defensive.

"You're detached Dr. Robbins. You talk about your experiences as if you're talking about someone else. I'm not saying that you believe these things happened to someone else because I know you're aware that the plane crash and the amputation happened to you. But you talk about it like you're talking about a patient. You're detached. Like it or not, you are a victim of post-traumatic stress disorder. And you were right," Dr. Wyatt pointed Arizona's leg, "You're walking, you're functioning, and you're running a whole surgical department on your own. But you were not right about being fine."

Arizona didn't move, for minutes she sat there letting the words wash over her not saying a word. Finally she lifted the leg of her pants and looked down at the flesh colored plastic underneath it and whispered hoarsely, "I don't have a leg."

"You don't have a leg," Dr. Wyatt repeated.

"I don't have a leg," Arizona said again, this time a little louder.

_Arizona woke up to the rhythmic beeping of a heart monitor and the quiet bustling of the hospital. She knew these sounds well, she worked alongside these sounds every day, but this time was different because she wasn't one of the people contributing to the hospital sounds. Slowly Arizona opened her eyes and took in her surroundings. The off white walls were driving her crazy. The first few days there she didn't mind them, but now, after a month, Arizona felt despondent and empty much like the off white walls. Dr. Robbins took a deep breath and looked at the clock on the wall, 5:37. 'Thank god,' she thought to herself. Her wife got off at 6, would go pick up their daughter from day care, and come by to spend some time with her. The time between 6:10 and 7 had become the highlight of Arizona's days. Those fifty minutes were the only time she got a break from being the sick patient and actually felt like a wife and a mother, the only time she felt sane again. She wished Callie and Sofia could spend more than just 50 mere minutes but she understood, she understood Callie was tired after working a full shift, and she understood that babies get restless in a boring hospital room, so she never complained about how little she got to see her family. _

_Today in particular she felt groggy, her body feeling more lethargic than usual. Arizona rolled over to her left side, reaching for the pink plastic cup on the nightstand when a sharp pain pierced her left leg. It was a different kind of pain than the pain she felt in the previous weeks. Lying on her side felt different too—she swiped her right foot back and forth, all over the width of the bed, edge to edge, and it didn't hit anything. There was nothing there. Her leg was gone…_

_The blonde quickly sat up, letting out a small cry, her face wincing because of the immense pain it took to move her body that fast, and frantically flung the blankets off her legs. Correction- leg._

Dr. Wyatt let Arizona sit in silence, she wanted to give her patient time to take in her new realizations but when she noticed a look of nausea she spoke, "Are you okay Dr. Robbins?"

"No, I don't think I am," Arizona looked up at her therapist, "What happens now?"

"Now we talk."

"That's it?" Arizona seemed skeptical.

"That's it."

"Okay, um," Arizona stood up to leave but had to hesitate for a moment. The leg felt different on her.

"I guess we'll talk on Monday then," she continued.

"Okay," Wyatt agreed, "And Dr. Robbins?"

Arizona stop at the door and turned around.

"The woman outside, the brunette –"

"My wife," Arizona interposed.

"She waits for you every time?" Dr. Wyatt arched her eyebrows.

"Yes."


	13. Chapter 13

Arizona sat down in the attending's lounge sofa. Being the only one in the room she decided instead to lay down, extending her very tired leg. Dr. Robbins leaned her head back and took in a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. She was beyond thankful for the day to be over. It was becoming harder and harder for Arizona to make it by these days. She found herself with no energy, no motivation to do anything. Her once "super magic smile", as Callie liked to say, lost its warmth and genuineness.

* * *

"_I feel tired. Like all the time. I thought being a surgeon was exhausting, but uh—I was wrong. Being tired is exhausting. All I want to do is sleep but I can't. I just lay there, wide awake, but completely exhausted," Arizona exhaled in defeat, "I'm not making any sense, and trying to explain this to you is-"_

"_Exhausting," Dr. Wyatt finished Arizona's sentence for her._

"_Yeah," Arizona agreed._

* * *

The lounge door swung open loudly, startling Arizona from her moment to peace.

"Dr. Robbins? Sorry to bother you I know you're done for today but we have multiple MVC cases coming in and the paramedics are telling me that there was an 11 year old boy involved. Can you stick around?"

Arizona sat up, "Yeah, I'll meet you in the ER. What's the ETA Hunt?"

"3 minutes out," the chief of surgery replied, "Thanks Robbins."

He walked away letting the door swing shut on its own. The blonde lethargically stood up. She placed her hands on her hips and rolled her neck to the left, holding the stretch for a few seconds, and then to the right to do the same.

"Let's go," she heaved to herself.

* * *

"_Why do you think you're so tired all the time," Dr. Wyatt said, pouring her patient a glass of water, and then another for herself._

"_I'm tired because it feels like I'm constantly battling."_

"_Who are you fighting?" Wyatt respectively pried._

"_The day," Arizona sighed, "It started with the leg. I would wake up and look to the foot of my bed at the leg."_

_The word "leg" rolled off Arizona's tongue with disgust._

"_I would see it and I would dread getting up to put on the damn leg. The leg became the worst part of my day. But then a few days passed and soon the leg wasn't the only obstacle."_

_Arizona swallowed and continued speaking, "The parents. I used to like talking to the parents, I used to take pleasure in telling them that their kid was going to be fine, that their son rocked his appendectomy or their daughter crushed her tonsillectomy. But now? Now I hate talking to the parents, I absolutely hate it."_

"_And the kids," Arizona looked down in shame, absolutely hating herself for feeling this way "I resent the tiny humans. I get angry at them for getting sick, for coming into my hospital, for making me fix them," she took in a sharp breath and exhaled slowly, "it started with the leg, but now my whole day has become a never ending train of obstacles, obstacles I'm tired of battling."_

* * *

"Crap, crap, crap," Arizona mumbled under her breath. She put her stethoscope on the unconscious patient's chest, first the left side and then the right.

"Crap!" she said almost yelling this time.

"What do we got?" Alex Karev entered the trauma room, still tying his trauma gown on.

"There's no breath sounds on either side, he's not breathing, and I can't find a heartbeat," Arizona was performing cpr frantically on the boy's chest, "Paddles! Hand me the paddles!"

"Here I got it," Karev stepped in and placed the paddles on the little boy's chest, "Clear!"

No heartbeat.

"Clear!" Karev tried again.

Nothing.

"Scapel," Dr. Robbins called out.

"What are you doing?" Alex asked.

"Subcutaneous crike," she replied, putting the stainless steel tip to her patient's throat, "I don't know how long he hasn't been breathing for."

With the incision done in two seconds flat, Arizona started tubing her patient. As she pumped air into her patient she spoke, "Karev, charge it to 300. Let's try one more time."

"Clear!" Karev shouted. The two doctors looked hopefully at the monitor but no heartbeat appeared.

Arizona sighed, "Time of Death 7:33."

She pulled off her gloves and dumped them, walking back to the locker room, slightly envying that child.

* * *

"_You want to hear something funny?"_

"_Okay," Dr. Wyatt said._

"_When the plane crashed, when we were all stranded there, when I was dying… I prayed so hard to live. I don't pray and I 'm not religious, but Callie is, so I prayed. I prayed for 11 days straight to live so that I could make it home and see my family."_

_Dr. Wyatt listened intently, waiting to see where Arizona was going with this_

"_And now," the blonde continued, "I'm home and I'm alive. Except all I can think about is dying."_

_Arizona chuckled, "Ironic huh?"_

_"You're having suicidal thoughts Arizona?" Dr. Wyatt was getting concerned._

_Arizona laughed._

_"Is suicide funny to you Dr. Robbins?" Wyatt asked dryly and unamused unlike Arizona. _

_Still laughing a little, "No, no, no, not at all Dr. Wyatt. It's just-," she paused looking for a way to explain her reaction, "being accused of having suicidal tendencies when you don't have suicidal tendencies can sound a little ridiculous at first. But I'm sorry, that was totally inappropriate and crass of me. I'm sorry."_

_"Mhmm," Wyatt seemed dissatisfied, "So explain what you mean when you say all you think about is dying."_

_"When I have some time to myself my mind can't help but wander to the car crash, or the plane crash, and wonder how nice it would be if I had died in those. I picture big semi-trucks ramming into my car on the way home, buildings collapsing on me, or a brain aneurism I didn't know I had bursting and killing me instantly," Arizona replied almost too nonchalantly, "Cause in those scenarios I would be dead. Meaning I wouldn't be here, living in hotel room, missing my leg, and hating my life."_

* * *

Dr. Robbins stood in front of her locker and took off her shirt. She threw it in her bag to take home then reached into her locker to retrieve the blouse she came in with this morning when an she found herself being hugged from behind.

"Hello Dr. Robbins," Callie whispered sultrily into her wife's ears.

Callie tightened her embrace on Arizona and began placing soft kisses along the top of her back.

"Callie I'm tired," Arizona pleaded.

Torres spun the blonde around and now placed kisses on her collarbone, her hands resting on the small of Arizona' back.

"Okay," Callie said between kisses. "So how about," another kiss, "we go," a kiss, "to an on-call room."

Callie's hands began dropping, slowly inch by inch, until they were on Arizona's ass. Callie then lifted her head and put a sloppy kiss on her wife's lip but it didn't last long. Arizona broke it off and pushed her away.

"Callie," Arizona snapped, "not today."

Dr. Torres furrowed her brow, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Arizona pushed Callie's hands off her rear and went back to changing.

"Arizona?"

Dr. Robbins didn't reply, she just continued packing her things.

"Arizona!" Callie said louder now, reaching out and grabbing her wife's arm to get her attention.

Arizona's eyes shot down to the hand that had just been placed on her.

"Don't," she growled and stormed out.

Callie raced behind Arizona, but when she caught up to the smaller woman, she didn't stop. She flew past Arizona and headed straight toward Dr. Wyatt's office, and when she got to the door, she burst in unannounced and demanded angrily with shaking rage, "What did you do to my wife?"

"Dr. Torres right?" Wyatt replied calmly.

Callie continued yelling, "She was doing better, we were getting along, I was this close to having her back. All of a sudden she won't let me touch her and she's biting my head off! What did you do to my wife?"

Dr. Wyatt took off her glasses and coldly stared Callie down, "Dr. Torres, being an orthopedic surgeon, you should understand better than anyone that if a bone has healed incorrectly, it is necessary to break that bone again for it to have a chance to recover properly. Your wife just re-broke every bone in her body and she is in unimaginable pain. Pain you and I will never know unless we have been through what she's been through. And even if we go through what she has gone through, we still wouldn't understand completely because we're not her. Now, please close the door behind you and don't ever barge in here again."

* * *

_The silence in Wyatt's office was deafening; and in moments like these Arizona took them as opportunity to explore her therapist's office. It was very office like, very hospital-y. It was simple, metal file cabinets in the corner, plain wooden coffee table, no throw pillows on the couch; Arizona liked it. She liked fancy décor in her home yes, but in a shrink's office? She believed fancy vases in the corner and designer sofas were hiding devices shitty therapists used. Wyatt's office was simple, no need for flash; Arizona liked that._

_"Tell me about Dr. Boswell ," Dr. Wyatt said, putting a stop to Arizona's wandering eyes._

_Arizona was completely caught off guard._

_Dr. Wyatt saw the shocked look in her patients eyes, "You know word travels around this hospital Dr. Robbins, that shouldn't be news to you."_

_Arizona cleared her throat and shame washed over her face._

_"I- I can't."_

_"Saying these things out loud is how you progress Arizona."_

_The blonde nodded, "I know," she said, "It's just so horrible, I can't... I can't bring myself to say it."_

_Dr. Wyatt didn't speak. She simply sat there patiently giving Arizona as much time she needed to talk._

_After a few minutes their session had run out of time and the red-head began packing away Arizona's files, "We can continue next week Dr. Robbins it's fine-."_

_"I liked it," Arizona finally spoke, barely audible._

_"I'm sorry?"_

_"I liked it. I liked every adulterous second of it. The way she looked at me, the way she touched me, it- it felt good. Really really good. I wasn't the cripple and I didn't have any baggage; it was like I was the old Arizona again and I liked it. I regret hurting my wife, but I don't know if I regret sleeping with Lauren."_

_"Thank you for sharing. I'll see you next week."_


	14. Chapter 14

"How's your lung transplant kid doing?" Callie asked.

"Good, good. Uh, no post-op complications, his body is accepting the organ. He is... good," Arizona replied before offering a nervous smile.

Ever since their interaction in the locker room two weeks ago, all the conversations Callie and Arizona had were uncomfortable and awkward, like a newborn deer trying to walk. They had forgotten how to talk to each other. Callie was afraid to talk about anything but work because she didn't want to unknowingly offend her partner, and Arizona, still navigating the roads back to recovery, didn't know how to apologize for lashing out.

"Alright then... I guess I'll see you... later?"

The question came out of Callie's mouth uncomfortably, lacking grace and direction. At first she meant to just say 'I'll see you later' but felt that was too much of a commanding statement. So she added the word 'guess' in there to lighten the tone, to make it seem like she wasn't expecting anything out of Arizona. But then last second, she decided that a question would be the best approach, it would give Arizona the option to answer yes or no, so she tacked on 'later' at the end of the sentence and raised her voice to an uncomfortable pitch level to make it sound like a question.

Arizona nodded, "Yeah sure."

This time Dr. Torres was the only who flashed a nervous smile before walking off.

"I liked it better when you and Torres were fighting."

Arizona whipped her head around to find Alex Karev standing there.

"Shut up Alex, did you update my charts yet?"

He handed her two charts, "Yep 10 minutes ago. And seriously whatever that was," he shook his head side to side, "just weird."

"Alex, mind your own-"

"Business, I know," he said as he walked away, "See ya later Robbins!"

* * *

"What the hell hit this guy?" Callie asked in disbelief.

Dr. Torres was wrist deep in a 27 year old male's stomach cavity.

"Apparently," Dr. Grey replied, "he thought it would be cool to have a bowling ball launched at him."

Callie shook her head in disapproval as she picked up a drill, "I bet he doesn't think it's so cool now that he's got three of his own ribs piercing his liver."

"Hey you're not busy tomorrow night are you?"

"Titanium screws please. Uh no, why?" Callie replied.

"Do you and Arizona want to come over for dinner? Double date kind of thing. Also Zola's been pleading me nonstop to have another tea party with Sofia and I keep telling her it'll happen soon. And I don't want to her to misconstrue 'soon' as 2 months and give her an unrealistic understanding about the word 'soon'. So..."

"Uh," Callie hesitated.

Meredith stopped working and looked up at Callie, "Oh, Callie. I'm-I'm sorry I thought you two were..."

Callie looked up and returned Meredith's wide-eyed stare of embarrassment, "No, no, no, we are! It's just we are but we aren't. What I mean is we are...working on it, but we definitely are"

The two surgeons went back to work.

"I can ask though," Callie offered.

Meredith didn't say anything, so Callie spoke again, "A-About dinner. I can ask about dinner."

"Oh, it's really not a big deal, just a thought I had. You don't have to if you don't want to, or if she doesn't want to. It's-it's not a big deal," Dr. Grey rambled on.

"No, no, I want to," Callie assured her, "I'd just- I'd have to ask Arizona first..."

A worried look came over Callie's face. How the hell was she going to ask Arizona?

* * *

The Robbins-Torres family sat in the Shepherd's driveway, their car still running.

"We don't have to go you know. I mean if you've changed your mind about going I can take you back to the hotel," Callie offered.

Dr. Torres had her eyes on her wife more than the road on the drive there. She was constantly looking to her right, looking at Arizona and trying to read her. And now sitting in the Shepherd's driveway, Callie found herself staring again, trying to figure out what Arizona wanted.

"Mama?" Zola chimed from her car seat.

Arizona turned around to answer her, "Yeah baby?"

"I still see Zola tonight?" the girl asked hopefully.

"Yes sweetie," Arizona answered softly with a smile, "we're going to see Zola right now."

Callie got her answer. She shut off the car, unbuckled her seat belt, and got out.

"Hey!" Derek greeted everyone at the door, "Callie, Arizona," he bent down and picked up the little girl, lifting her above his head and into the air, "and Sofia! Mwah!"

Callie held up a bottle of wine, "Sorry Mer, no tequila, but we did bring wine."

"That's fine. My tequila days are long behind me. Come in," Meredith laughed.

And as Callie took her first step, Arizona hooked her arm around Callie's and they walked in together.

The night was winding down. Sofia and Zola had stopped drinking imaginary tea from plastic pink cups an hour ago and were now slouched on the couch watching Dora the Explorer dvds, their eyelids growing heavier and heavier by the minute. The plates at the dining room table had already been cleared and the wine gone long ago.

"Tonight was a lot of fun," Arizona said as she flashed her super magic smile.

"Yeah, thanks for having us you guys," Callie agreed, slowly getting up from the table which prompted everyone else to do the same.

Derek took in a deep breath as he stretched, "Definitely, we'll do this again soon." He quickly hugged Callie and Arizona, and the leaned in to kiss his wife on the cheek, "Goodnight ladies, I'm going to put Zola to bed."

"Yeah Sofia needs to go to bed too," Arizona said, following Derek over to the couch to pick up her daughter.

Meredith walked Callie over to the door where Arizona met them, "Goodnight you guys."

"Goodnight. Thanks again Meredith."

The walk to the car and the ride home was in complete silence; but it was a familiar silence- a comfortable silence that Callie and Arizona had developed naturally through the course of their relationship and tonight was the first time in a long time where that silence was present.


	15. Chapter 15

Callie slowly rolled the car to a stop in front of the Hilton Hotel and shifted into park.

"Well," she sighed, "we're here."

Arizona unbuckled her seat belt, leaned over and kissed Callie on the cheek, "Goodnight Calliope."

But when Arizona opened the door a hand stopped her, she turned back and looked at her wife.

"Arizona you don't have to stay at the hotel…"

Dr. Robbins raised her eyebrows and asked, "Tonight?"

Callie continued, "Uh no… For good."

"Callie…I don't know if I'm ready."

"It's okay," Callie assured her, "Whatever there is to work out we can do it together, as a family."

Arizona shook her head, "I— I uh," she swallowed the lump in her throat, "Goodnight Calliope."

* * *

"Callie asked me to come home last night," Arizona blurted out.

"Good. You got what you were working for Dr. Robbins," Dr. Wyatt replied.

"But why am I so scared then? When she told me, it felt like I was getting punched in the stomach or something. I- I couldn't speak."

"That's okay Arizona. Fear is good. It's healthy."

Arizona looked uncertain, "It is?"

"Yes," Wyatt chuckled, "Fear keeps you alive and makes you feel alive. It also means you have something to lose."

"Okay," Arizona nodded more confidently.

"Before you leave today Dr. Robbins I want to talk to you about our schedule."

"Okay sure, day change? Hour change? Doesn't really make a difference to me because I basically live at the hospital anyway," Arizona chuckled.

"Uh- Not quite," Wyatt said, "I was going to say you don't need to come back."

Arizona's eyes widened, "W-Why? I'm not better yet, I'm not fixed. I'm still broken!"

"Arizona," Dr. Wyatt started, "Therapy doesn't fix people. It only lends them a hand and gives them the tools so that they can do it themselves. So yeah, you're still a little bit broken, but I'm confident you have everything you need to put yourself back together."

"Why can't I just continue-"

"You need to learn how to put yourself back together because the world will break you again, and again, and again. Somewhere down the road, the universe is going to chip away at you and that, Dr. Robbins, is why you need to figure out how to do this on your own."

Arizona opened her mouth to protest but Dr. Wyatt spoke before she could, "And if you find that you're out of your depth, all you have to do is ask for help."

Arizona took a deep breath, "Okay. Thank you for everything Dr. Wyatt"

Her therapist smiled, "It was my pleasure Arizona."

* * *

"Hey!" Callie greeted Arizona outside of Dr. Wyatt's office with a kiss, "good session today?"

"Yeah," Arizona nodded before flashing her super magic smile, "Callie?"

"Hmm?"

"Calliope, let's go home."


	16. Personal Thanks

*big breath*

Okay, so after reading what felt like a million fan fics (but was probably only a hundred or so) I took my first attempt at writing one. This story is something I've been imagining for while and so I finally decided to put it into words. Thanks again for all the feedback: the follows, favorites, and reviews.

This is probably not going to be the end of this story.. I want to write some more about Arizona's ptsd and how her and Callie deal with it now that they're living together.

If I do find the inspiration to continue it, it won't be added to this one, i'll most likely make another story link.

So yeah... thanks for reading and i hope you liked it more than hated it. :)


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